Saturday, April 17, 2010

Nothing-ness.

Oh.I hate holidays. I really hate it. The weather isn't doing me any good. First,it's damn hot. Pipe water can burn hands. And...I thought I could at least have a walk at pasar malam to feel better. It started to rain. WT!!...ok...wat else. And I'm getting frustrated again. I need a job. But,I have too many restictions that made it quite impossible. People might think that, I didn't even look for it. I won't explain, cos they wouldn't understand. I've done my best. I only have endless restrictions and I seriously hated that. I've talked to *MOE,he made me feel better. He said it was because I'm still at a diploma level, I don't have to feel too guilty about not working to make me feel better about feeling useless. But I still hate the fact that I'm wasting time. I know I have to work to get things I want. I didn't want to whine and complain about things I couldn't have. I want to earn it, work for it. Because things that come easily will easily drown us. But sometimes, I do wish I could succumb to a spoilt life like some people.To laugh like mad and have all the fun I wish even for a day.To study course I wanted. To do things I like. To have the things I wish for. To have my dream car. WTF? Okay,I'm just imagining...for pleasure only. I'm more matured than that. Yeah,that is how frustrated I am. Thats what I'm looking forward to..a better life. I want to build my life. Mom and dad, I wish I could just get some support at least. Take me seriously . I know what I'm doing. Give me a chance I deserved. I've proven myself. Don't you think it's time for me to take another step forward even if there are chances to fail? I'm afraid to fail. But if that makes me a better person,why not?

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